He could not be more on target with this excerpt which is why my female friends are a lot more limited than my male ones:) :

“Susan smiled at me, giving Molly the Female Once-Over– A process by which one women creates a detailed profile of another woman based upon about a million subtle details of clothing,  jewelry,  makeup, and body type, and then decides how much of a social threat she might be. Men have a parallel process, but it’s binary: Does he have beer? If yes, will he share with me?” -Jim Butcher, “Changes” book 12 of the Dresden Files

No truer words have been printed.

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Feel free to contact Kinky Nurse Layla to schedule your appointment today!

1-800-TO-FLIRT extension 0147-9032

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When I was a teenager I had a funny uncle who was really no relation it was just an easier way for him to explain me and me to explain him to others considering I was a teen and he was in his late fifties.

I used to go to his house as often as possible.  When he was away at work I would go through his massive collection of porn magazines.  He had everything: Juggs, Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, Cherry and many others I do not remember.  His Hustler and Penthosue were the most extensive.  I believe he had all of the two from the first printing on.

He treated these magazines as if they were gifts from god and got quite angry when I would mess with them but mess with them I did.  I was a horny teenager with little knowledge and they were a wealth of information, a great source of fodder to masturbate to and a great way to learn to masturbate better or worse as the case may be.

I remember an article written about bestiality in Hustler, I beleive.  They praised having Fido as a partner discussing penis size,knots and even the best breeds.  At the end of the article it was decided that German Shepard’s were best.

Now keep in mind, I am a smart girl so I kept reading as my mind craved more information and sure enough a couple of mags later , in the, “write in” section a lady wrote in about how her Shepard tore up her insides, ripped her skin with his sharp nails and even bit her. She required stitches and plastic surgery to repair the damage, her dog had to be put down so she threatened to sue the magazine.

I am not one who is big on “sue happy Americans” but you know I seriously would not have minded following that one in the news and laughing at her! Kinda like the McDonalds coffee fiasco!  Just because you read it somewhere does not make it safe, safe for you or guarantee it will be the same experience for you that it was for someone else. Reading it in Hustler certainly does not make it something you should try at home,  but try people will.

I skipped that one.

While I may have skipped the Fido fiasco I did find out about the interesting uses of Alka-Seltzer as I read the ongoing drama that followed “maimed girl’s” experience with her German Shepard.  There was another lady there and a few men arguing with her that she was a damn moron, how she should have worn a leather vest , had her dog specially trained and on and on.  This fight literally went on for months and I followed the serial drama the whole time, dubbing it in my head, “Fuck  of our Lives” and “As the Milk Bone Turns”

I was astonished that people actually openly admitted they did that shit.  My Alka-Seltzer article was squeezed in there somewhere and their was no follow up on it.  I guess people were not as interested in sticking Alka-Seltzer in their twats as they were a dog cock.

Since there was no follow up I decided I would try what this lady recommended.  Basically you take a tab of Alka-Seltzer and put it in your pussy and it will fizz and bubble in  there giving both you and your partner and exciting sensation in your pussy and on your cock.  This sounded feasible to me since I had been forced to drink Alka-Seltzer  before and knew that it was very effervescent and thus would probably live up to the hype reported in between the Fido fucking drama. Not to mention since it was in my pussy I would not have to worry about it tasting like shit!

Basically, what you were to do was take a tab and shove it deep into your wet pussy and it would do the rest.  The lady added to her credibility by stressing more than once that you should not under any circumstances use Alka-Seltzer  Gold because it contained aspirin which could irritate your vagina.  So I was careful when I went to the pharmacy to select my sex aid.

When I finally found an unsuspecting victim to experience my Alka-Seltzer orgasm with it was me who turned out to be the victim.  I followed all the instruction and was very careful not to use Alka-Seltzer  Gold and after I shoved it in he went to put it in and, well he couldn’t.  That tab sucked all the moisture out of my pussy and sucked the fine, thin, velvet skin of my pussy into the tab and kept sucking.  It started to hurt.  I ended up straddled over my mothers wash sink with him sticking the hose in my pussy to flush out the Alka-Seltzer  tablet.  It took some time because the tab had to fizz out to nothing because it was attached to me.

Needless to say my pussy was to raw for fucking that day and the day after.  It took about a week to heal in the end and I came to realize I had something in common with dog fucker.  We both had learned a valuable lesson.  Do not believe everything you read.

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“Twenty dollars,” she whispers.

Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck, it’s only twenty
bucks, so they hide in the bushes.

They’re in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It’s a
police officer.

“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.

“I’m making love to my wife!” Bubba answers, sounding annoyed.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop, “I didn’t know.”

Bubba says, “Well, neither did I, ’til ya shined that light in her face!”

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www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3dnFmwQy04

I often get calls from guys who are really into pregnancy.  Some like me to beg to get pregnant others like me to beg for them not to knock me up. I do love to beg!

I can go through the whole pregnancy, skip to the lactation or simply stay in the moment of conception and beg for or against it.

I do love the feeling of cum pumping into me so what would follow, logically?

Call me for some big bellied phone sex.  Plant your seed today!

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This priest liked me to be the girl who he had been conscripted to perform and exorcism on and no matter what holy words he threw at me or sacred water, still the demon prevailed seducing him into pleasures of the flesh, taking me on the alter he chained me to not only with his member but candles and even the crucifix.

I seduced and fucked him until he, the holy priest possessed a demon cock that he used to defile this sweet, innocent virgin.

YUM!

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She read on the chart that you were coming in for a health check and a sperm sample. After seeing  the rise tenting the white sheet from the thermometer being inserted into your bottom, nurse Layla’s dirty mind knows just how to get a huge sperm sample from her phone sex patient!

Would you like to give me a sperm sample?

<3 Layla

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Layla's sexy Feet

bathing them but when I do it is not for the sexual satisfaction that feet bring me but is in the knowledge that I have made the person whose feet I have massaged feel better.love to have pedicures, excessively long massages, to feel a tongue slop between my toes even teeth gently biting them. There is nothing that feels better to me than an hour or two of pure foot pampering.

Do not get me wrong though. I do not want to sling insults at you and make you worship my feet but rather receive pleasure while you get to feed your fetish. I do not know if this makes me a foot fetishist as well but I would love to hear your opinion. Give me a call.

Let me know what you think either by calling me on niteflirt or sending me a message! I look forward to hearing from you!

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• GFE(girl friend experience) thats  where I get to be your girl friend for however long you want to keep me with no hassles or strings!
• Medical fetishism which can be anything including but not limited to medical experimentation forced or willing me or you, doctors appointments, catheters, castration, needles, probes, thermometers.  you name it I am game!
• Alien abduction
• The girl next door role-play
• Good little girl role-play
• Innocence lost
• The good little Catholic girl with priest, nun, Jesus, crucifix fucking or even Satan himself! Being taken advantage of by the priest is the most fun!
• You’ll get fired if you don’t…role-play
• Hunter/hunted role-play
• I enjoy being submissive
• I enjoy being punished
• All aspects of pregnancy fetishism including begging to be/not to be knocked up.
• Lactation play.
• Foot fetishism, I love having my feet touched, rubbed anything physical with my feet!

The list is HUGE.  I could go on like this for days!  The more imaginative the better!  The dirtier the better!  I love taboo, sticky and nasty! Phone sex rocks!

Call me for some No Taboo Phone sex! I promise to drain your balls!

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I have a lot of callers who think pregnant girls are really hot!Visit this site for more hot Preggo movies

Hell after seeing this site I would say pregnant chicks are pretty delicious and the camera man/photographer of this young hotty would agree!

He was bored and had no idea what he was gonna do with his day until a really hot chick turned up at his studio wanting to make a movie. She was hot enough to make his dick quiver to life and the added fact that she was pregnant made it stand at attention!

She was expecting her first child and her hormones were driving her insane.  He was practically gasping for breath when she dropped her trench coat into a pool at her feet and showed him what she had on underneath.  It was better than nothing.

She was wearing knee high black and pink stockings over a transparent black cat suit that was cut open at both her tits and pussy! Too fucking beautiful!  The cat suit presented her big, full pregnant belly beautifully! He was jerking his cock while shot her hot ass pictures and movies!

Check out the wild poses she got into to drive him wild!

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